Ruby's Guidance
by Iron Angel 80
Summary: One-Shot. Dean's in Hell and Sam is a mess. He must find a way to rescue his brother but he must also find a way to live without him. Does Ruby have the answer?


Ruby's Guidance

Ruby's Guidance

Disclaimer: I own nothing (sob!)

She had shown up hours after he had buried him. Hours after Sam had walked away from a pleading Bobby, begging him not to go off on his own. Hours since he had taken the amulet from his brother's neck and placed it around his own. He had been sitting in a cheap and cheesy motel room, trying to drown his misery in a bottle of Jim Beam, and absent-mindedly fingering the ugly amulet when a knock at the door brought him to full attention.

He gripped Ruby's knife in his hand, stalking quietly up to the locked door to peer out of the peep-hole. On the other side of the door was a petite brunette, arms crossed over her chest in a pissed-off fashion. She raised her hand to knock once more when Sam threw open the door and pulled the surprised girl into the room. Kicking the door shut and pinning the girl to the wall in one fluid motion un-dulled by the amount of liquor he'd consumed, Sam held the blade of the knife to the brunette's delicate throat.

'Who are you?' Sam growled menacingly.

'Sam, it's me!' She gasped, eyes wide.

'Who are you?' Sam shook her slightly and pressed the knife a little harder against her skin. If this was Lilith coming to finish him off, she was going to get one hell of a fight, and she would not escape him unscathed again.

'Ruby,' she gasped, 'Sam, it's me – Ruby.'

'Nice try bitch, Ruby's gone.'

'No Sam, it's really me,' she breathed, eyes roving wildly. 'Lilith only ejected me from that body, taking my place in it. She didn't kill me or send me back.'

'And why should I believe you? Maybe you're not Lilith, but you could be one of her lackeys here to try to finish off what she started.' Sam gripped her around the throat, forcing her head back and exposing her throat fully to him and his knife.

'Please Sam,' she whispered, 'it's me.'

'Yeah?' Sam sneered, 'prove it.'

'Got any ketchup?' She said while raising an eyebrow hopefully at him.

Sam's grip loosened slightly but he did not let go.

'Dean tricked me in the barn.' She continued, sensing that he was looking for more proof. 'He goaded me into a fight where he lifted my knife from me, and trapped me in a devil's trap he'd painted on the ceiling. The _both_ of you left me there.' She accused him, fire starting to burn in her eyes. 'I would have rotted there if it weren't for another demon coming.'

'Another demon?' Sam questioned.

'Yeah, he sensed me there and came to investigate. He broke the trap and then tried to kill me himself. It would seem that Lilith put a price on my head for siding with you and your brother. This guy was looking to collect, but I got away.'

Sam's grip loosened some more but he asked one final question. 'What was the first thing you ever said to me?'

'I'm the girl that saved your ass.' She answered. 'And I've gone out of my way to keep saving your ass over the last couple of months and I would really like it if you would stop pressing my own knife into my neck.'

Sam stepped back but still held the knife at the ready at his side. 'How do I know I can trust you?'

The girl rubbed her hand on her reddened throat. 'Because now I'm as wanted as you are and if both of us are to survive, we need to work together. Lilith will be coming after you with guns blazing. You survived her powers in Indiana, and now that she's done being surprised, she's pissed. And she's going to be looking for a way to destroy you.'

Sam narrowed his eyes, 'So why are you here?'

'You need to learn how to channel your powers Sam, and you need someone to teach you. You are the only one who can take out Lilith, and as long as she's around, neither of us are safe.'

'So you're going back to the _channel your powers_ crap? It's a little late for that now…Dean's gone.' Sam spat.

'Dean's dead Sam, you're not. He made his deal so that you could live, and you're just going to sit back and wait for Lilith to find a way to kill you? Her powers just bounced off of you, do you have any idea how incredible that is? No one has ever survived her – ever! You can put an end to her Sam, only you.'

Sam was breathing hard through his nose, trying to slow his racing heart. This was Ruby, Sam was sure of it. But Dean had wanted him to stay away from his powers, and Sam wasn't sure if he wanted to use them. He'd seen what that kind of power did to the other special kids Azazel had warped with his blood. They had become monsters, bent on revenge or greed, drunk on their own abilities until they were unrecognizable. And Sam feared that he could end up the same way, that his abilities could control him and make him into something he wasn't, something Dean and his father had fought their entire lives to ensure that he didn't.

Seeming to sense the thought running through his head, Ruby said, 'I promise you Sam, after Lilith is gone, I'll do everything I can to help you get your brother back. Even if it means marching back into hell myself to lead his ass out of the fire.'

'Why would you do that? Why would you risk everything like that? You hate Dean.' Sam growled.

'You're right.' She said simply. 'He's a dick and I can't stand him.' She stepped closer to him and looked him in the eyes. 'But I'm not doing this for Dean, Sam. I'm doing it for you. He's been gone for less than two days and you're falling apart at the seams.' She stepped another step closer to him. 'You're too important to this war to be falling apart Sam. Your side can't win without you, and you can't fight them unless you learn how to use your abilities. Do you think you can take out a demon army by yourself with one lousy knife? I can teach you to take out a crowd of demons by barely moving a muscle.'

'Ruby,' Sam started, speaking slowly so that she would understand he meant every word. 'I'll work with you on two conditions. The first is that we don't wait for Lilith to die before we rescue Dean, we work on that just as much as we work on my powers.'

She nodded in acquiescence. 'Agreed. We can do both, it may even help you with your training.'

'Second,' Sam halted, trying to find the right words. 'The minute I feel like I'm losing control, that my powers are taking over and I'm not myself anymore, we end what we're doing.' He looked her fiercely in the eye. 'My brother and my father did not _die_ so that I could turn into what they spent their whole lives fighting against.'

She nodded again. 'Okay…so when do we start?'

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

It had been a grueling two weeks and Sam had made minimal progress on either of his two missions. He was no closer to freeing Dean than he was to being able to harness his powers. Ruby was starting to feel the strain as well. She had taken to staying with Sam all the time now, convinced that they were too vulnerable when they were apart. The tight quarters, sleeping on the sofa because Ruby claimed the bed, and trying all day to move that damn cup with his mind was making him a ticking time bomb. Not to mention the fact that any time he wasn't trying to bend spoons with his thoughts, he had his head buried in books or was scouring the net trying to find some way to get his brother out of the pit.

It was hard to share a space with Ruby. He was used to his brother's neatness – everything in its place and ready to go at a moments notice. Not Ruby's disregard for order, her clothes strewn about the room, dirty dishes on the counter and her things all over the bathroom. The way she hogged the shower everyday so that there was never enough hot water left for him. Even Jessica with all her sweetness and compassion, her love of life and those she allowed into her heart, had been a bit of a trial to get used to when they started living together. But love had blinded him to most things when it came to Jess and Sam had adapted rapidly. Not so with Ruby. Just the sight of her made his blood start to boil, like it was all her fault, that everything that was wrong with his life was her fault and Sam was near his breaking point. The sound of her voice in his ear while he was trying to use his powers soon ended up in a screaming match between them that left Ruby holding her tongue whenever Sam was practicing.

Ruby had taught him that he had to be able to find his powers stored in his mind before he could use them. That part had been easy. Once he opened himself up to the thought of using his abilities, he had no problem in finding the little pulsating ball of energy at the back of his brain. Sam suspected he'd known it was there the whole time. Ruby told him that once he knew where his powers were, he just had to mentally grab on to them to be able to use them. It wasn't working.

The first time Sam had tried to grab hold of his powers and levitate a spoon, he had been attacked by a stabbing pain in his skull that left him gasping for breath and then running for the john to throw up what he'd had for breakfast. Ruby sat on the edge of the tub and rubbed his back as he heaved. She stated that if he'd been able to do it properly the first time, it would have been simply amazing and not to give up. She had a confidence in him that he didn't have in himself.

On and on it went, training and researching. And all the while a feeling of ineptitude was growing more and more in him. Sam's frustration was growing so much that Ruby barely said a word to him because he was likely to lash out at her for the slightest provocation.

Finally, one evening Sam was standing in the cheap motel, two feet away from the scarred formica table, an empty coffee mug on its top. Sam was standing there, arm outstretched towards the cup, beads of sweat building on his brow from his intense concentration. Sharp pains erupted behind his eyes, but he pushed those thoughts away. He heart was beating faster and faster, feeling like it was going to jump out of his chest any moment. Sam was trying to mentally wrap his hand around the ball of power in his mind, to grip it tight and wield it to his own purposes. The pressure in his skull was building to an all time high, the blood pounding in his ears was deafening.

_Move damn it!_ Sam growled in his head at the cup. Sam tried harder, and ended up screaming out in pain, dropping to his knees and clutching the sides of his head.

Ruby rushed over to his side. 'Sam,' she said frantically, 'Sam look at me! Are you okay?' She pried open his eyes with her fingers.

'I'm fine damn it,' he growled, pushing her away as he stood.

'I think you should call it quits for the night Sam.'

'No! Taking a night off won't free Dean any sooner.'

'And ending up in the hospital won't help him either!' She shouted. 'Look at yourself!' She grabbed him by the shoulders and turned him to face the mirror on the bureau.

Sam caught a real glimpse of himself for the first time in days. He was pale and gaunt looking, and there were dark circles under his eyes. He looked like hell.

'Your nose is bleeding from your efforts Sam.' She pressed on. 'What you're doing isn't working and I think I know why.'

'Yeah? And why's that?' Sam sneered.

'You haven't fully given in to your powers. You won't let go of the thought that you won't turn dark side. And until you accept your powers for what they are, you won't be able to control them.' Her words bit into him.

'That's ridiculous!' Sam shot back. 'I'm busting my ass trying to use them and you're telling me that I'm holding out on them? That I don't want to learn how to use them and save my brother?'

'You think that if you give in to your powers, you'll end up like all the other kids – twisted and broken and dark?' She shoved him in the chest. 'Do you really think that you're that weak?' She accused him. 'Do you really think that you're not strong enough to control who you are?' She shoved him again, harder. 'Your powers don't control you Sam, you control them. They don't have the power over you to change the man you are.' She was toe to toe with him, staring up at him defiantly despite his imposing height.

Sam's nostril flared. How dare she say he was holding back! He'd never tried so hard to do something in his life. So much depended on him being able to do this. Dean's soul, his own life, Ruby's, not to mention scores of innocent people who were dying at the hands of the demons that were running loose and unopposed. But she was right. As much as he wanted to fix everything, as much as he wanted revenge on Lilith and as much as he wanted to save his brother, Sam was afraid.

'Let it go Sam,' she challenged him. She was pissed and she was standing too close. Sam felt his jaw loosen, unaware that he had been gritting his teeth. Her face softened, 'Just let go,' she whispered.

Sam looked into her brown eyes, saw her pleading with him. He placed his hand on the back of her neck and crushed his lips to hers. If she was surprised by his actions she didn't let on. She brought her hands up to the sides of his face and kissed him back with a fervor that matched his own.

Wrapping his arms around her waist, he lifted her off the ground. Never losing contact with her lips, he crossed the room and dumped her on the bed. Stripping off his shirt, Sam let it all go.

The End.

A.N: This was just something that popped into my head while writing another fic. I wanted to write something about how Ruby and Sam started working together after Dean's death and I've found the new turn they've taken on the show to be really interesting. Season four is looking pretty good so far. As always, reviews are cherished and _constructive_ criticism is a useful tool to make future writing better. Hope you enjoyed this one.


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